evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Private Moon)
When someone said to me the other day, “Oh, your name is Noelle? You must have been born at Christmas!” (NO), I knew it was about time for me to break out my yearly rant about how much I hate Christmas music. Enjoy my vitriol!


Phew. I’m actually feeling much better about Christmas now, though that may just be the fact that I’ve gotten about 90% of my shopping done already. Regardless, I'm so mellow that I'm ready for any jokes you might have about my name. Fire away.

Happy Holidays, and may all your Christmas songs be the good versions!
evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Mucha Icon)
In case you’re new here, I'd like to introduce you to an intrinsic feature of my personality: I hate Christmas music. I usually write an annual rant about how much I hate it, except for last year when it was 60 degrees out and Paul McCartney was not to be found on any radio channel. Luckily, this year, we’ve already had snow, and I’ve purposely been listening to the radio station that’s been playing nothing but Christmas music since Thanksgiving. That’s given me plenty of material for a good old fashioned rant!

Cut because I have a lot to say )

Well, that’s all for this year. Once again, I grant you permission to mock my name in the comments. If you don’t understand, check out my username. One of those is my real name (okay, the male version of my real name). And perhaps this will give you some insight into my hatred of Christmas music.

Happy Holidays, everyone!
evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Random pirates by songstressicons)
Today I saw my first Christmas/holiday-themed television commercial (Pop-Tarts *glares*). I just want to say that this is just not on, and if I hear even one Christmas carol on the radio before Thanksgiving...well, let's just say that it is very unlikely that I will be having last year's problem.

I'm watching you, mass media. Let's not do anything rash.
evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (John Singer Sargent)
I’m afraid there may not be a Christmas music rant this year. I just can’t get into the Christmas mood, joyful, irritated, or otherwise. It’s in the mid-60s, the Beatles are on the radio singing “Here Comes the Sun,” and if I had teleported here through time and space to save the cheerleader and/or my unbearably adorable red-headed girlfriend, you would be hard pressed to convince me it was not April.

Even what little Christmas music I’ve heard this year hasn’t annoyed me. I’ve not had one moment of “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” rage, nor one unwanted loop of “Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum” trapped in my brain. Probably because I haven’t heard either Paul McCartney or “Little Drummer Boy.” Therein lies the problem.

It’s like some sort of inverted Christmas special: “Oh, no, kids! Christmas music hasn’t been bothering Eva this year! Looks like we’ll have to cancel the Christmas music rant!” And then the kids save the day by teaching me the true meaning of nerve-grating Christmas music with their endearing shenanigans and Wings records, and I get all worked up at the last moment and the day is saved.

Here's hoping for the crazy antics of snot-nosed kids to save my usual Christmas music rage.
evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Bizenghast by M. Alice Legrow)
I really should have done this last week because that's when one of the radio stations I listen to started playing Christmas music full time, but I was in a state of denial and didn't want to deal with the inevitable. But since every consumer establishment around feels the need to play holiday muzak and one of my apartment complex neighbors has been suffering from a severe case of premature illumination, I can't avoid it anymore. It's time for my now yearly rant about Christmas music.

I freakin' hate it.

You might be thinking, "Well, that's just because your name is Noelle and you've spent two decades pretending to laugh at everyone who thought they were making a 'First Noel' joke for the first time."


I hate it because there appear to be twenty Christmas songs that get played over and over on radio stations without regard to the vast library of Christmas music that exists in the world. And these twenty songs are always the worst versions of classics as sung by popstars or "modern carols" that have terrible lyrics (think Love Actually).

Of course, I can just turn the radio off and listen to my MP3 player for two months. But in the real world, stores need to put up their ugly decorations and start with the music, apparently right after Halloween ends. And not just malls, any place with in-store music. The grocery store. The pharmacy. WHY?! It does not make your place more festive! It makes me want to get out more quickly!

Songs I never want to hear again:
1) "Do They Know It's Christmas Time At All?" - I have already heard this song at least a dozen times. Make it stop.
2) "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas" - that's only because retail shops are jumping the gun earlier and earlier every year.
3) "Little Drummer Boy" - see last year's rant
4) "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - I forever associate this song with Staples now, so it feels really weird to hear it around Christmas.
5) "A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney. The Elton John one is bad too, but not played nearly as much as this one.

("The First Noel" may not be on that list, but I still would rather never hear it again. It's just not played often enough to make it to the list.)

EDITED BECAUSE I FORGOT THE WORST SONG IN CREATION: Dominic the Donkey - the surest way to get rid of guests at any Christmas party, but works best with Italians.

Here are some songs that I could stand to have included in rotation:
1) "Oh Holy Night" as sung by someone who can actually hit the "divine" note.
2) "Do You Hear What I Hear?" - a GOOD version, mind you.
3) "Christmas Is the Time to Say I Love You" as sung by Billy Squire because for a modern Christmas song, it is very rarely played.
4) "Silver Bells" - 'cause it's pretty and not often played.
5) Rare carols - but I seriously doubt anyone will be playing "Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella" any time soon.

There, I feel better. And since I got this out, here's your yearly opportunity to make fun of my name. Feel. Free.

On another note, I have truly lost my copy of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Breadbox Edition. Several people have told me that they used to copy my BBEs onto their hard drive when they were on FF.net. Does anyone have a copy of that BBE? I have the notes to rewrite it, but I would rather not do that again. I would be very grateful if someone had it.
evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Default)
I hate the Christmas Season.

Note that I do not hate Christmas. Christmas is great. Peace, love, joy, family, giving and getting presents, not to mention a certain religious birthday party.

It's the Christmas Season that makes me want to scream and strangle people. Why? Two words: Christmas Music.

I have never worked retail, so I suppose I can never fully comprehend the horror that is Christmas Music, but I still despise it. And for some reason, as soon as Thanksgiving is over (and I hope the Americans reading this had a good Thanksgiving), at least two of my pre-set radio stations feel the need to play nothing but Christmas Music 24 hours a day until Dec. 25th.

I have heard "Little Drummer Boy" six times already. I want to destroy things.

I have another reason for disliking Christmas Music as well. Take a look at my username. One of those words is part of my actual name. Now, guess why I hate the Christmas Season.

On a side note, here is your one chance to make fun of my name. If you mock my name in any other post between now and Christmas, I will yell viciously at you in giant CAPS OF RAGE.

Seriously, I hate the Christmas Season.


evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Default)

March 2009

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