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As a long time reader and admirer of Jane Austen’s works, do you know what causes me to lose sleep at night? Why, the thought that she may not have been a total hottie, of course.
You know who else I worry about? This guy. Man, just look at that forehead. Freaktacular. Okay, maybe that’s not a fair picture. No one looks good in an engraving; they were the license photos of their day. How about this one? The earring is kind of sexy, but we still have the giant fivehead of doom there. And in this one he’s using his massive cranium to send landing signals to small planes. C’mon, man. How do you expect us to take you seriously as the Greatest Author in the English Language of, Like, All Time, Ever if it looks like you haven’t seen the sun in a decade or so?
Because if you don’t totally look like this, I just can’t respect you.
You know who else I worry about? This guy. Man, just look at that forehead. Freaktacular. Okay, maybe that’s not a fair picture. No one looks good in an engraving; they were the license photos of their day. How about this one? The earring is kind of sexy, but we still have the giant fivehead of doom there. And in this one he’s using his massive cranium to send landing signals to small planes. C’mon, man. How do you expect us to take you seriously as the Greatest Author in the English Language of, Like, All Time, Ever if it looks like you haven’t seen the sun in a decade or so?
Because if you don’t totally look like this, I just can’t respect you.
