evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (Odyssey BBE icon by makani)
[personal profile] evadne_noel
I was having a tough time writing the review I wanted for this movie, so I decided to cut out the long blocks of text that just weren’t working and went with what I know.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE: NUTSHELL EDITION


FADE IN:

THINGS EXPLODE for about fifty minutes, completely distracting the AUDIENCE from the fact there’s no ACTUAL STORYLINE.

SUDDENLY the plot appears:

BUG-EYED BAD GUY
Soon I shall possess 60% of Bolivia’s water supply! Mwahahahahaha!

JAMES BOND
Whatever. Tell me about the organization formerly known as SPECTRE so I can get my revenge from the last movie.

BUG-EYED BAD GUY
Huh. Okay, how about you, Bond Girl? You’re Bolivian. Surely you care?

BOND GIRL
Hey, if anyone needs me, I’ll be over here killing this general.

BUG-EYED BAD GUY
Well then, MI6? You guys interested?

M
Not really, no.

BUG-EYED BAD GUY
The Americans?

PORNSTACHED CIA DOUCHEBAG
Is there oil involved? If not, no.

FELIX LEITER
I’ve spent so much time looking disgusted, my face has frozen this way.


MORE THINGS EXPLODE, and BUG-EYED BAD GUY dies for the having the temerity to attempt a plot NO ONE CARED ABOUT.

THE END


That pretty much sums up my feelings, perhaps a little more negatively than I’d like, so I’d just like to add a few more points.

1. If you haven’t seen Casino Royale since it came out, you might want to watch it again, since Quantum of Solace follows immediately after.

2. The opera scene is a great set-piece, and I’m not just saying that because Daniel Craig is in a tuxedo.

3. The action is amazing, even if it is of the bone crushing, wince-in-your-seat kind. It is, however, cut so each shot is about two seconds long, so if you’re prone to vertigo, you might not want to watch this on a big screen.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-19 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graceful-dave.livejournal.com
That about sums it up for me. Honestly, if they'd cut out the intro, the worst excuse for a Bond theme song, and edited the rest of it like they did with the sex scene, they could've tacked it onto Casino Royale. Then it could've ridden on the awesomeness of that movie, instead of taking the spotlight. And sucking.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-20 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
It really did feel like a two hour epilogue for Casino Royale. It's a shame the padding out was unnecessary, not just to the audience, but the characters as well.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-19 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] priscillapuck.livejournal.com
I wish I had done #1, since I totally don't remember the plot of Bond movies, like, EVER. Although I did catch the oil-slicked shoutout to Goldfinger. Obviously, you were right next to me, but whatever.

I think that a lot of critics think the opera scene is the best part -- for the opera, not the Bondness. That's kinda problematic.

Also, I thought sure, the oil and water issues are somewhat plausible worries, but it seemed like too much of an environmental stance for a Bond film.

And yet, I really enjoyed myself.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-20 12:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
I'm afraid I didn't understand the last scene of the movie (where Bond threatens that guy and his "girlfriend") until someone explained he was Vesper's "boyfriend" from the last movie. I had completely forgotten who he was.

The environmental stance was also a little weird because absolutely no one cared. If they were trying to make a dramatic point, they could have at least given the reveal some impact instead "Huh, there's a damn."

Oh, I enjoyed myself too. The action really is very good.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-19 08:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paxmalum.livejournal.com
I've never seen it, now I don't know if I want tooooooooooooo.

I read this to my roommate, and didn't realize that I read her the whole thing until I got to the end. I rock like that.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-20 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
I make it sound much worse than it is. If you like the Bourne movies, you'll probably like this. It's a lot like them in style (more than other Bond movies).

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-20 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paxmalum.livejournal.com
Haven't seen them either.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-21 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Okay, I'm out of action movies. I thought I had more examples stored, but I was wrong.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-21 05:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paxmalum.livejournal.com
It's cool. I don't see a lot of movies.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-24 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adam-0oo.livejournal.com
Bourne is a pretty apt comparison. I love how both Bond and Bourne always suprise their enemies because they never stop moving. Everytime the bad guys relax because Bond couldn't possibley have found their hideou...OMG, HE IS HERE ALREADY. It was pretty funny.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-26 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Heh, he's like a monster from a horror film.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-19 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stargazersal04.livejournal.com
AND WHERE WERE THE GADGETS? If there had been some cool gizmos in there, at least the equation would have been complete.

Chase scene + disposable women + bad guys + fascinating gadgets = Bond movie.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-20 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
I missed the gadgets too! I know they were going for realism, but have they never been to the International Spy Museum? There's some pretty awesome real spy stuff out there.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-24 08:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adam-0oo.livejournal.com
And actually, if you think about it, he didn't get revenge on everybody, that guy from the trunk of the car in the begining still got away, right? Wasn't he also to blame for the death of that girl from Casino Royale?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-26 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Yeah, but Mr. White's a VIP. If Bond got him, there would be no one familiar from Quantum to taunt him in the sequels.

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