evadne_noel: A man and the cresent moon in a rowboat (CoS BBE Icon by poetrusic)
[personal profile] evadne_noel
So, just in time for the Fourth of July holiday, I decided we need a little reminder from our favorite faily psychopath of how people come to together to form new countries/law systems based on the values they hold most dear.


Lord Voldemort Declares the Rights of Wizardkind

“I’ve been thinking.”

Harry Potter had never given much thought to the hating of individual words. However, faced as he currently was by a very serious, quill wielding, no personal space conceiving Dark Lord, he was giving the concept very careful consideration.

For these were words he had heard before.

“Do you agree,” continued Voldemort, completely ignoring Harry’s attempts to bury himself further in his book, “that we are currently under the rule of a tyrannical maniac bent on our subjugation?”

“Well,” said Harry, “yeah, actually.”

“Good!” said Voldemort. “Then you will agree to assist me in drafting a document to send to The Daily Prophet announcing the Death Eaters’ intentions of separating from the Ministry and possibly going to war with them should they continue to try to forcibly mingle us with Muggleborns.”

Harry gaped openly but futilely as Voldemort magicked up a quill and roll of parchment, and thrust them into Harry’s hands. “Take this down,” started Voldemort. “Ahem. ‘Sciatis nos intuitu Dei et pro salute anime nostre et omnium antecessorum-’”

“Hey! Whoa there!” interrupted Harry. “I don’t think I can spell any of those words.”

“Really?” asked Voldemort. “They don’t teach Latin at Hogwarts anymore? What is this world coming to? Okay, let’s try something else then: ‘When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands-’”

“Wait a minute. Are you sure you want to go there?” asked Harry.

“All right, all right,” said Voldemort. “One more time: ‘Les Représentants du Peuple Français, constitués en Assemblée Nationale, considérant que l'ignorance-’”

“Seriously,” said Harry. “I don’t speak much French, but I know you just said ‘The representatives of the French people.’ What do the French have to do with this?”

“You’re right,” snapped Voldemort, snatching away what little badly transcribed writing Harry had gotten down. “This declaring thing is overrated. How about I just blow something up, kill a few people and let off a Dark Mark? Think that’ll get my point across?”



(Author’s Note: Just so you know, that was the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence and the Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen. And, if you’re ever in D.C., you should A) come see me, and B) go to the Library of Congress to see the drafts of the Declaration of Independence. They’re both fascinating and hilarious because you can see the parts that Thomas Jefferson crossed out and changed. It’s lots of fun to make up stuff you can’t quite read, like: “When in the Course of human events your king has the face of a dog and the brains of a squid it becomes necessary for one people…”)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 12:08 am (UTC)
ext_104554: Tron Bonne from Megaman Legends (Default)
From: [identity profile] capri-chan.livejournal.com
we are currently under the rule of a tyrannical maniac bent on our subjugation?

Two items related to cooking and a certain colour come to mind when Voldemort says that...

Also, nice to see that Harry Merak is learning that if he can't prevent Voldemort from killing people he can at least hurry up the process by pointing out the stupidity of the other plans, and thus save himself some suffering.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Okay, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean with the first line. I'll probably feel stupid when you tell me.

LOL, yeah, that's pretty much Harry's purpose in these stories. "How fast can I get rid of him this time?" Originally they were supposed to trade incompetence, but Voldemort's is so much easier.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 02:55 am (UTC)
ext_104554: Tron Bonne from Megaman Legends (Default)
From: [identity profile] capri-chan.livejournal.com
Pot, kettle, black.

To be fair, I suppose people don't really associate kettles with cooking. But they are used on a stove, so that counts for something, right?

GODDAMMIT, my card messed up somehow, thus making it impossible for me to buy anything online, so I can't renew my paid account, and more than half my icons are inactive, and I now have ZERO usable HP icons.

WTF?! They leave me my Christmas icon that I haven't used since DECEMBER, but my Prison Bitch icon is inactive? And the Jareth one, too?! Who the hell decided that? I could understand if they deactivated all of them except the first fifteen, but it looks like they decided this at complete random.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-07 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Oh, see, and I now I do feel stupid. That makes sense.

I've heard that about expired paid accounts and icons. It's really weird.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bending-sickle.livejournal.com
Short but sweet \o/ I've missed your writing tons.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope I can get myself to write more in the near future.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 01:35 am (UTC)
semielliptical: woman in casual pose, wearing jeans (Default)
From: [personal profile] semielliptical
Hee! Very appropriate for the day. And I agree with Voldemort, why don't they teach Latin at Hogwarts anymore? Seems like it would come in handy.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Well, if they taught Latin, the students (ha! I originally wrote "stupids") would realize they were casting nonsense spells. And maybe start questioning the wisdom of turning rodents into flatware before learning to cast healing spells.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kws136.livejournal.com
(A) Latin would come in handy at Hogwarts. That way, you don't just learn random, disjointed words (not that Latin's much better).
(B) Harry has obviously learned how to get things done, even with L. V. running things - point out it's stupid, and try to get him to just do what he always does ... which, is also stupid. But, stupid-er.
(C) I HAVE MISSED THIS SO MUCH!! Hooray for the 4th of July!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Yes! Happy Fourth!

Harry may not be learning much Dark Magic, but he is definitely racking up the life skills. This is why he will become the greatest Auror of his time: he understands the very, very stupid mindset of evil.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] musicalqueen101.livejournal.com
Yay! You've written! I was thinking just the other day how long it has been and how much I've missed your stuff. I was hoping to see a few movie reviews at the very least, and I'm eager to hear your opinion on The Other Boleyn Girl, as I am on the fence about whetehr or not to see it. Hoping you're having a nice 4th of July... :)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Thanks! Unfortunately, The Other Boleyn Girl is one of the few movies I haven't seen recently. I've heard that book is better for that story, and that the TV show "The Tudors" is better for a visual version of that era. But the movie is supposedly still not bad.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fluffmonkey.livejournal.com
Yay! I love it when you post, Evadne! I've missed this. Maybe this means you're coming back
*hopes*
Even if not, thanks for the post, dearling

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope to be coming back, slowly but surely. I miss writing.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 03:21 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sylvacoer.livejournal.com
Have you ever seen the musical "1776"? i mention it because that's what i thought of when i read your post-script. 8D oh man, how long have you lived in D.C.? i used to live in alexandria and i miss the smithsonian and the library of congress so much.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
I have never seen the "1776" all the way through, though I'm familiar with it. Sadly it was on at 11:00 pm on TCM last night, so I (once again) did not get to see it.

I've lived in D.C. for about four years now, and I love it so much. The vast number of free museums definitely contributes to that love.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-05 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] llybian.livejournal.com
Heh, nice. Typical Voldemort. Y'know what, let's not write an essay. Let's just blow something up.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-06 12:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Whatever works, you know? Would anyone bother reading his essay if he wrote one? 'Course not! But you can't miss an explosion!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-15 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magna-siobhan.livejournal.com
Yay another so you've decided to be evil! Very funny!

When I was in England last month I got to see the Magna Carta. :) And despite visiting DC numerous times I still haven't seen the Declaration of Independence :( I'll say I'm just saving it for this fall and college.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-17 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Thank you!

I'm the other way around. I've seen the Declaration of Independence many of times, but I totally flaked on seeing the Magna Carta when I was in the U.K. I probably won't get another chance until sometime in the future (and then I probably wont' see it then, either).

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-19 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aussie-callie.livejournal.com
Well, I figure since I've been lurking about, reading your stuff, and showing my friends your breadbox stories for a few years...I might as well comment now that I finally got an LJ.

I mean, it's the least I can do.

Heh heh. Lord Thingy...

"Think that’ll get my point across?”

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-19 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
LOL Thanks, and welcome!

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-21 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wilver-and-ecru.livejournal.com
Hi, I've been lurking for a long time, and figured it was probably time to make my internet-shyness go away - happens all the time with people I admire.

So, yeah. Just to say I love your fics and stuff, and I hope you keep writing. Your BBEs especially = much love. Not that I'm pressurising, though, I just wanted you to know that what you write is quite possibly the best fic I've come across.

Okay, I really hope I don't sound stalkery or anything. Um...yeah. I'll stop with the slightly creepy gushing praise now.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-23 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
LOL since you didn't imply that you're looking in my windows, you didn't sound stalkery at all. Thank you for reading, and thank you for commenting. I'm coming back after a hiatus, and I hope that I'll be able to produce more fic (of several kinds) soon.

re: Fanfiction: So You've Decided to Be Evil

Date: 2008-09-30 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lanthirel.livejournal.com
This is amusing and educational--not always an easy thing to accomplish! :) One time when I was in D.C. years ago, my friend made sure that I went to the National Archives and saw the finished documents. That was rather awesome, to say the least. But I'll put seeing the drafts on my list for next time that I'm there. Thanks for the tip!

Re: Fanfiction: So You've Decided to Be Evil

Date: 2008-10-06 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Thanks! The drafts are really worth seeing, especially if you've been to D.C. before and have seen most of the other touristy stuff.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-13 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rionarch.livejournal.com
! I seriously love these snippets, any chance of you coming back with the full force of a typhoon?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-11-14 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Probably not with the force of a typhoon. Perhaps with the force of a surprise cold front?

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